Why hello there, March!

SANTORINI ♥

The moment when you first wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twenty-four hours. No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, absolutely anything may happen. And the fact that it practically always doesn’t, matters not a jot. The possibility is always there.

I woke up feeling blessed today and yesterday. I had a dream I was in Santorini two nights in a row.. with the love of my life of course. Just cuddling, holding hands, barefooted with the anticipation of waiting for the sunset to descent (Naks! :) feeling! haha) Aww, the feeling of beauty within was wonderful. The beach,  the breath taking view, the sunset, the horizon and the irridescene of chalky, bleached architecture.


The beach has to be my favourite spot out of anything else. I love the ocean, tranquility and that gumption of fullfilment. I love how it looks like its never ending. If I lived near to one.. I would be there every single day of everyday. But in the future.. I will :)


SANTORINI. What can I say? No words can describe you.

Will you take me here someday? :)

A Diary of a Broken Heart



I cleaned my entire wardrobe a week ago. And you know that feeling where you find something that you own but you have completely forgotten about it and when you come across it, you think..
"Oh my days! I dont remember hiding that thing there!"
You feel that impression of serenity, happiness, sadness.. or you just dont know how to feel. Well I had that.

I found this box where I've kept all the letters, cards, gifts that Ive received from family, friends, childhood memories and past lovers. One of the things I found was my Diary! Since Grade III, Ive been writing a diary till I was about High School! Lol (Untill my dad read it.. I was traumatised!) My whole life was written on there!

When I had my heart broken for the first time.. I did not know how to cope. Instead, I wrote it. I thought to myself, what if isulat ko lahat ng nararamdaman ko araw araw sa loob ng isang buong taon, then i’d be able to read it when I am healed, and see my journey from a new point of view, from denial to anger to bitterness to hope to healing (or whatever jumbled order you’ve experienced in your own love life) and maybe, it might be able to help future broken hearts out there.

So I did.

But I never got round to the borderline of finishing it.

(from the words of Miss Bianca Gonzales)

Those times when you think.. 

Those times when you realise..

 Those moments when you're like..

And those times when there is only one thing left to say.. 

 So that..

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream - Perfect for broken hearted people out there ;)

Siguro dahil sa sobrang sakit, kapag naiisip kong magsulat, nananalo na lang yung kagustuhan kong magmukmok sa isang tabi. Imbis na mag-effort pa ako na mag-isip at magpagod, ginusto ko na lang na wala na lang akong intindihin. hanggang sa lumipas ang mga linggo, mga buwan, i went through all kinds of emotions (na slightly nakakabaliw talaga yung iba ha!) Until one day, I was okay.

Having said all that, Ive heared some of the most saddening break-up stories the past weeks or so, Ive had my best friend running up to me crying because of a break up, friends asking me for advice.. on chat, text and Facebook! Allow me to try to reconstruct a few of the things i’ve learned in life, and love, that might help that broken heart of yours or of someone you know.

1. ON ADVICE

Kapag brokenhearted ka.. no advice said to you will make you feel better. None. As in. Wala. Kahit ano, walang effect. Kapag brokenhearted ka, the only thing that you think will make you feel better is if the one you love will say they love you too. But they won’t. (in some cases, they won’t ever, but in some, they won’t just for this point in time.) hugs will comfort you, concerned texts will make you smile, but no amount of advice will make you feel better.. unless! Unless you decide to let it make you feel better. Don’t be pressured though to follow everyone’s advice. kanya-kanya lang yan. Of the one hundred cliché lines thrown at you at an attempt to make you feel better, most will not make you feel better (in fact, some will make you feel worse), but there will be a few major lines (not necessarily given by those closest to you, mind you) that will speak to you and touch your heart and soothe your soul. those pieces of advice, you hold on to.

2. ON PRAYER

A broken heart will wake up some days so unbelievably hopeless and wanting to just stay in bed all day. Some will even go all out in saying they want to die (but of course you don’t really want to die, right?) a broken heart will wake up some days feeling somewhat rested and peaceful, but with a slight fear that they might encounter something that day that will bring back all the pain. Whatever mood the broken heart wakes up in, one thing remains. it’s a broken heart. and this may sound cheesy or false to some, but there is only one thing that can heal all things broken. our Lord and personal savior, Jesus Christ . When your heart is peaceful, give thanks. when your heart is troubled, still give thanks and ask for deliverance. When your heart is shattered into a million pieces, still give thanks, and ask that you may learn whatever life lesson it is that He wants you to learn. In both high and low, give thanks, because it is one of the surest things in life that God only works for the good of those who love Him.

3. ON MOVING ON

Don’t be pressured! for some it takes weeks. For some, months. For some, years! Of course no one likes the pain that a broken heart brings. (its pain like no other! araaay talaga grabe!) But, you have to go through it. There is no short cut, there is no other way. Go through it. Go and let it out. Cry before you sleep, cry when you wake up, cry in the bathroom, cry to your friends. Lock yourself in the room, stay in bed all day, don’t talk to anyone for hours, make senti all you want. Do it all. Don’t let anybody stop you. (but don’t let it get in the way of school or work or the things you have to do either! okay? okay.) Feel all those yucky, disgusting, heart-shattering feelings, curl it all up into this unbelievably sad ball, and one day, when you are ready, throw it out the window. It will happen for you. i know you feel it won’t, that the day you will be okay will never come, but it will. have faith, it will.

let me stop at this third point and end by saying that i’ve felt all those feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness that you might be feeling right now. and, honestly, so have thousands, and millions of other people around you. It sucks. It really does. But hey. Nobody said that it would be easy, but nobody said that you have to do it alone.

All this i share with pure sincerity from the bottom of my happy heart, to your soon-to-be happy heart! :)

A Dream

POINT LOMA NAZARENE UNIVERSITY 

 I am in love with you, you're a dream come true!

The Greek - Oh my days, the Pacific Ocean behind it!

       The SUNSET!

      Welcome to Point Loma!

    Loma Land

 Nicholson Commons Clock Tower at night



Aww, Manong/Kuya Jon graduated from here too - SUMMA CUM LAUDE kano! Glory to God! We were all so proud of him! :)

This place is a glimpse of heaven, it really is. - Its impeccable. Its a Paradise.

 PLNU - what more can I say?

Daddy-yo!

To my Dearest Father :)

Dad, Happy Birthday po! Tumatanda na kayo erpats, pero gwapo parin syempre! Hehe. Anyways, Just wanted to say Thank you po sa lahat, for being the perfect Father to us. We do appreciate and love you so much :) More power and more blessings! oh and for making my breakfast every morning kahit hi...ndi tayo bati! Haha. Although I guess tomorrow is my turn to cook for you Chef! I love you!

Love,
Your beautiful anak! haha

"Christmas Wish List" will never get old.

It's Almost Christmas. Yey! I feel like Im seven again, whenever this season comes round. I get to decorate Christmas Trees, watch these bits of Cotton-candy like fall from the sky, Christmas shopping, Wrapping presents, Christmas movies, Christmas Carols and of course, make my Christmas Wish List!
Since I didnt grow up with my parents back in the Philippines. They use to make me write my
"Christmas Wish List" and send it to them through the post so they can buy it for me. Too bad Im too old now, so it's the other way round. haha!
Mommy, Daddy, I know you could be reading this, *Hint, hint* Haha, biru lang po :)


1. A Complete Family - My number ONE on my wish list has always been this. It never changed. As I said, my parents worked abroad back when I was kid. Therefore, I spent Christmas with my Inang - My Grandmom, my titas/titos, Church Fam and my cousins in Philippines. They would come home once in a while though. Now that I get a chance to spend it with my parents and my brothers, I am happy about that of course - but yet again, its not complete :( Hopefully, one day though! :)

2. "All I want for Christmas is you!" - Yup, that say's it all. Yan ang gusto ko! haha! :) Christmas ain't Christmas without youuuu!  ;) AJ!

3. Pasko sa Pinas - I haven't been home for 9 years. Oo, 9 years na! Nakakalungkot kasi, nakakamiss din! Iba parin talaga ang pasko sa Pinas. Kahit wala masyadong regalo mas masaya parin! I still need to complete "9 mornings" on my Life List.

 

4. "The Akala mo lang wala nang Slumbook, pero meron, meron, meron". I stole this from someone else's blog. So credits to "Project Marla" :) Thank you! I remember I got given one of these "Slumbooks" by my close friend Angelica Mamalio (Miss you girl!) on my 9th Birthday. Tweety pa yun, alala ko pa! hehehe. So I got everyone sa barkada and cousins to sign in before I left Philippines to come here. Ang saya saya to the max pa ko nun kasi "my crush" signed it too. haha! Adik. Pero, naiwan ko din. Kung nakanino man un ngayon ibalik nyo sakin! haha

5. Ayan, magiging materialistic na ko! hehe. "Stairway to Heaven Necklace" These two lovers wore it from the Korean Drama "Stairway to Heaven". It's just really cute and pretty. :)

6. Im a film addict.  I get bored easily, so when I do, I just stuff myself with snacks, tubs of ice cream and watch all day. I managed to buy Princess Hourse and One Tree Hill Season 1 Box Set but that's as far as it got. Lol. Ang mahal kasi, asar! Di ko afford. haha

- Princess Hours

- Stairway to Heaven

- My Girl

- Full House (Korean)

- Boys over flowers

- The 1st shop of Coffee Prince

-  One Tree Hill - Season 2-7

- The Hills

One day, Ill have all of these Box set's and Ebay will have none left... in my dreams! Haha. Wishful thinking lang naman!

7. Gadgets

- WHITE POLAROID CAMERA - Oh my days, Im ready to die when I get this. haha

- Flip/Video Cam

- Macbook :)

ASA! More like - "I-will-only-get-these-when-I-get-a-job" than a "Christmas Wish List" LOL

8.  UGG's - Wala lang feel ko lang. In other words, "I cant think of anymore things to put! Lol"

9. Juicy Couture Bag - Like what my mum always says "Its a want, not a need" Which is true. Its just pretty, thats all :)

10. Peace. Love and Happiness for the New Year ahead!

ADVANCE HAPPY BLESSED CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

The 2 Matt's in my life.

Oh I just remember. A week today was the time when Matt Cardle won the X-Factor 2010 :)
I dont know him literally, but whenever he sings he melts my heart. He has the most beautiful voive and Oh my days, that face is heaven. He is so handsome. The first time I saw him perform during the auditiona, I remember saying to myself - "Im defo watching X-Factor this year!" I am so proud of him and he deserved to win. He was absolutely fantastic. A bit sad? Yeah! Obssessed? Just a tad :)

Well another reason why I really loved him was because he reminded me soo much of my best friend from way way back. He is also called Matt. He was also a very good singer. He sings to me over the phone when Im like loosing my will to live because I am so drowned with problems. Then everything will be perfect again.
Technically, He is also one of the reasons why Ive taken more interest into writing Blogs. Whenever he sees me around school in the Library Im always there typing my heart and soul away into this stupid website nobody gets to see apart from him.

Matt: Hey up my little Miss Writer! Let me guess.. Blogging?
Me: Yeahh... *shy*
Matt: Let's have a read..
Me: NNOOOO! Go away.
Matt: Please? *that puppy dog eyes face!*
Matt: Right.. you spelt "Loser" wrong.. again! You missed a full stop there... HAHA!
Me: Oh not this again :(
Matt: However.. Your life is so interesting. :)


Aww, Im not going to write much more cause I know I might just end up crying.

Hey buddy,

I know I promised that I would write on my Diary everyday for you to read and let you know what you have been missing. I also promised that I would carry on blogging for you to check if my spelling's right if I have missed any full stops, whatsoever. But it's kinda difficult at times. Especially thinking that you're not actually going to be there anymore to read and to correct it.
If I told you how much I was missing you, and how much it hurts not having you around all the time, you'd probably tell me to shut up and stop being such a wuss. So I won't :) I'll just say thank you, for being the best friend/fake brother/body guard anyone could ever ask for. For always knowing just what to... say and caring for everyone like you did. Will never forget some of the times we had, you crazy fool :) You'll always be with me Matt no matter what, and the little things we used to laugh at throughout the day will never fade. Still can’t believe you’re gone and would give ANYTHING to have you back, but I know you’re doing jusssst fine. Oh and guess what, I'm actually getting some work done in lessons :]
I know im always running to you whenever time gets a little rough. And you never fail to help me from up there. Even my mum misses you! Whenever I hear the song "Use Somebody" I think - "Hey, he's with me right now"  2 years on the 23rd now Matt. Prob's why it just hit me the fact that youve gone forever and never coming back. But you will always be with me.
I miss you very much.
Love you, always always.


R.I.P - Matthew John Mayer - 23/12/08